Hungry & Desperate

I'm desperate.

I've been desperate for a while now... desperate to go deep.

I guess what I really am is hungry.

Well, I'm hungry and desperate. Yes. I am hungry and desperate.

I hunger so much for the Lord every day. I feel like a meth addict in my garage throwing empty paint cans, misplaced tools and empty candy bar wrappers out of my way as I wrestle through my junk in search of the proper things to get my fix. I want to be drunk on the Spirit. I love when I get in that state of fulfillment.

I usually find myself drunk off the Spirit after a worship night. After being completely surrendered and passionately and deeply seeking the Lord, I find myself drunk. It's beautiful.
Unfortunately, I do have a block of my life where I got drunk off alcohol. It was a dumb time of my life, but I am thankful that the Holy Spirit has empowered me to break away from that generational curse.

The drunk state that I'd get in from alcohol was totally WEAK compared to the state of fulfillment ("drunk-ness") that I'd get in after a night of worship. There's honestly no feeling in this world that I have felt like being overwhelmed by and in the Lord our God.

That probably is why I have been desperate. I am desperate for an atmosphere to get drunk off the Lord. Just like man-made narcotics that exist to get us intoxicated or high and cause us to get jittery and whatever happens when we don't get our fix for a while, I am desperate for that. I don't like the term fix though. To me, there is some negative cognitation attached to fix. I like to think of it more like fill. I'm desperate for that fill.

I'm desperate for a group of others who desire to ooze Jesus to the world. I'm desperate for an atmosphere that is filled with fellow Believers who hunger for the trinitarian God-Father, Spirit & Son. I am desperate for that.

I want to constantly be talking about Him... singing to Him... resting in Him... loving in Him.

I love holidays, especially holidays that celebrate Jesus. What I don't like is that the fire burns out in people a few days (it'd be a stretch to say a few weeks) after we celebrate those holidays. Jesus asks for our lives. Jesus asks for our hearts and minds. Not just a few weeks and that few weeks includes every Sunday of the year- assuming that we give our hearts and minds to our Savior every week.

I'm going to stop with that because my goal is to definitely stray from legalism and I have no desire, at the moment, to preach about the complacency among Christians. I am simply just hungry and desperate for the Lord. I do feel a tug on my heart by God the Holy Spirit that something big is going to happen in the Puget Sound (Tacoma to Poulsbo). That is probably why my hunger to go deep is so strong lately.

In this place of my life, I'm going to just learn from what Jesus said, and rest and wait upon the Lord, constantly seeking to be filled and a power to reign upon us.

"And behold, I send the promise of my Father upon you: but tarry ye in the city of Jerusalem, until ye be endued with power from on high" - Luke 24:49 (KJV)


Lord God, you said ask and ye shall receive. My prayer oh Great God is that You would send fire to fall down amongst us. Lord, that you would see the stirring of your people throughout the Puget Sound begging for more. Jesus, send your Holy Spirit to reign down upon this sinful area to empower your people so that we can be lights to our world so that those who oppose will no longer oppose... that those who resist will no longer resist... that those who run will no longer run... that they will turn to and praise you, whom is rightfully seated at the right hand of the Father. I love you Lord Jesus. Amen.